Marsha Gusti Kwaya Australia Inc and Love Buttons Interview


Marsha Gusti Kwaya Australia Inc and Love Buttons Interview

Marsha Gusti Kwaya Australia Inc and Love Buttons Interview

Question: What inspired Love Buttons?

Marsha Gusti: Love Buttons was inspired after the death of my beautiful boy, in July 2012. Kane's death was very unexpected, he just went to sleep one night with his partner and ten minutes later his heart stopped and we do not know why and I don't think we ever will, it is one of those ridiculous things in life that comes and visits you. Five weeks after his death I travelled to Uganda with my team at Kwaya Australia Inc to continue work which was a distraction, when I returned home I went into deep grieving, as a mother.

During the grieving time I'd be in a shopping centre and I'd feel as if others would look at me and wonder why I was there because my boy was an amazing young man achieving incredible things. I was in a terrible state and often I'd find a tear falling down my cheek as I walked through the produce section at the grocery store which made me feel like an idiot.

I grew up in a house next to an Italian family and I learnt about the way other cultures deal with death. The Italian mother wore black for a long time and everyone in her community knew she was in a deep stage of grieving because of that.


Question: What did you learn about grief?

Marsha Gusti: Since grieving myself I realised it is a process we all really need to embrace and you shouldn't try and escape it because it is something you have to go through, otherwise you'll carry it with you throughout life. I suggest you embrace it but whilst you are going through it, you need the support of your family and the community around you.


Question: Can you tell us about Love Buttons?

Marsha Gusti: When you're wearing a Love Button the community will recognise that you are grieving and that they need to support you in that space. If someone is grieving you don't even need to speak to show them support, a smile will do. Often people who are grieving will be an in daze and it may help to step aside when they're slowly walking through, unaware of others, rather than asking 'what do you think you're doing?"

Love Buttons are for the community to recognise what some people are going through and love in all respects; we need more love in our world. The idea is that if you see someone wearing a Love Button such as a Bank Teller, you will give them more slack and support them through understanding and kindness.


Question: What do you hope Love Buttons will do for the community?

Marsha Gusti: Love Buttons has already started and people are ordering them online for at funerals and I think it will take six months for the badges to become full known throughout Australia. It will be an amazing experience once everyone recognises Love Buttons and I know from grieving myself that it is a unique tool and you need something that recognises and honours your grief and journey that you are on.


Kane's partner is a very private and reserved girl and once she returned to work after his death a customer asked her 'how have you lost so much weight?" She was mortified and it caused her to cry but it wasn't the customer's fault, in our society we don't have a sign to tell other people what we're going through. If the women had seen a love button on her shirt, she would have given her a smile and not carried on about her weight loss.

Everybody that I have spoken to has said that Love Buttons is needed and I am excited about it. I hope to create a little bit more understanding in our society and I know after the funeral is over in Australia our tradition is to not talk about death or continue to support each other through it; I hope Love Buttons will change that.


Question: How did your trip to Uganda aid in learning more about grief and healing after losing your son?

Marsha Gusti: In Uganda there is an incredible history of pain and death through AIDS. One particular musician that I work with in Uganda is a Pasture and a Top 40 pop artist and he was a kid on the street, he slept under a tree and ate out of garbage bins, a good Samaritan came along and took him off the street which is when he began to sing. One morning he woke up and had no voice and he said to God, 'if you give me back my voice, I promise I will go out and reward the community"; he woke up the next morning with his voice and he became a Pasture. He has seven siblings, six of which were HIV Positive and him and his brother were HIV Negative; six of his siblings and his parents died and that is the type of grief they experience in their community whereas in Australia it isn't often a whole family is lost. In Uganda it is common that there is one family member left but there is an incredible support system in their community for the depth of grief that they experience.

200 of us went on a cleaning project through the ghetto in Uganda and I saw houses made of a piece of board and tin but I never felt any depression, I didn't feel sadness. The community had the biggest smiles on their face and I realised that it was because they had a sense of community; they were all there for each other. Being in Uganda is a humble and inspiring experience and it made me realise that we live in our homes and we don't even know the people that live beside us and there is a lot of jealousy in our society.

On our last Uganda tour my husband and I stayed in Melbourne before we left and when I sat down to breakfast I said 'you'd think they'd have some fruit" but there was everything else and that made me realise in Australia we always look for the things we haven't got. In Uganda you give them a pea and they look at that pea like all their Christmas' have come at once and they're not looking for a second pea but concentrating on what they have in their hands and making the best use and being grateful for having it. In our society we have lost the ability to be grateful; for example in Australia we may buy a big screen television and when guests comment on it you say 'yeah, but it doesn't have surround sound". We always go to the next step of what we haven't got rather than appreciating the incredible thing that we do have, in front of us.

I don't see depression in Uganda yet they have so much to be depressed about, we have depression in our society and I think it's due to what we believe we don't have. I have learnt a lot from going to Uganda and I feel that once Love Buttons is more widely known then we will be able to look across at others and feel a human connection with another soul who has been on a similar journey.


Question: How many Love Buttons are there and what do the buttons signify?

Marsha Gusti: There are eight different coloured buttons; blue represents loss of a child, red represents loss of a partner and there are buttons that represent loss of a relative, grandchild, friend, parent and so forth. There is a grey Love Button which represents multiple loss as there are some people who lose a few people in an accident.


Question: Where do the funds raised, go to?

Marsha Gusti: Love Buttons supports a foundation that was setup for my son to support an up and coming Science student and my Kwaya Australia Inc work.

Question: What is Kwaya Australia Inc?

Marsha Gusti: Kwaya Australia Inc aims on bringing singers all over Australia, together to work on projects in Australia and abroad for indigenous people.

I take pleasure and passion in helping the kids in Uganda. When I go to Uganda I enjoy watching the fundraising we do paying off by changing the course of a child's life, these children travel around the world for six months singing and then they come back to help their communities and are given education up to University – they are committed to changing their communities and those within it. The big cycle has been going for thirty years and everyone that has graduated whether they're a doctor, lawyer or whatever they've chosen to go back to the community to help. We raise funds to build buildings, do renovations and help orphanages. Kwaya Australia Inc is very gratifying work and I feel like I am doing what I am meant to and making it count.

I learnt from Kwaya that the most important things in life is love and knowledge and spreading love and knowledge, anything else aside of that doesn't mean a lot. Life is about connections with fellow human beings and what you did to change something on this planet.


Question: How can Australians participate with Kwaya Australia Inc and Love Buttons?

Marsha Gusti: The Love Buttons website is www.lovebuttonsaustralia.com
The website for Kwaya Australia Inc is www.kwaya.org


Interview by Brooke Hunter


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