Having a beautiful Best Friend...
Have you got a beautiful best friend? Someone who when you go out, always seems to get all of the attention? When you're out on the town, all of the guys that you like seem to like her and not you? Well how can they help it, I mean she is drop dead stunning! AND worse, she is intelligent and funny! It just doesn't seem fair does it? This is the curse of the beautiful best friend and most of us have one somewhere along the way. But is it really a curse or just our own insecurities?
The thing is, it is most likely that you are attractive too but your friend - well - she just has that something extra in the looks department. You really do love her because she is funny, caring and smart. But at the same time, when she walks into your home dressed up ready to go out on the prowl, looking like a supermodel, there is a secret part of you that cries, "Bitch! Why can't she just look ugly for once?" This is human nature. To want something that someone has, that you do not have is completely natural (within reason of course!)
Of course most of us curse ourselves straight afterwards for thinking such nasty thoughts. You cannot forget this is the same friend who brought you flowers and your favourite things while you were sick. The very friend who came over at 3am in the morning just to sit with you while you cried over a recent break-up. The same friend who you sat with for hours laughing about nonsense until you were both utterly exhausted.
There is no denying it. It can be tough having a beautiful best friend, but your beautiful best friend may have some hang-ups and issues of her own.
Though it may seem to most of us that being born gorgeous is a wonderful gift to have been given, being beautiful is not all what it seems or is made out to be. The way beauty is portrayed can leave us all believing that being drop-dead gorgeous will contribute to us having more fun, will make life much easier and will grant us any thing or any one, we may desire. This is not necessarily so as we discovered in our recent survey of "beauties".
Quite interestingly most beautiful women tend to take longer to settle down in to permanent relationships for the fear of being a "handbag". Many seem to fear that the men in their lives are simply with them because of their looks. Being pretty can appear to be a curse to some rather than a blessing. As most of us know, men are very visually stimulated creatures. How many times can be you recall walking down the street with your man and seeing his eyes sway away from you to another direction as an attractive woman walks by? This of course doesn't help the pretty woman. Knowing that men are often driven by looks can fill these women with even more concern that men will only show an interest in them because of what they look like.
Other "dazzlers" seem quite sure that when their backs are turned their friends bitch about them and are secretly cheering when they grow a huge pimple in the middle of their forehead. Some beautiful girls feel their friends are particularly genuine when paying compliments. Many of the women surveyed said that on at least one occasion they thought their friend told them an outfit looked ok when they knew extremely well that what they were wearing, looked dreadful.
Why is it that some women often find it difficult to compliment other women? The possible reasons are endless.
Women of all ages can be very judgmental when it comes to beauties of the same sex. Acknowledging that someone is both beautiful and intelligent can be down right depressing for some, which is quite dispirited in it self. Speaking with our surveyed gals, many of them said they put up a "wall" which has over the years, become their natural defense mechanism against judgmental types. This aloofness can be unfortunately then seen in a negative light and is viewed as conceitedness.
Assumption that just because someone is beautiful means they are egotistical and arrogant is a common mistake and often an easier conclusion for some more easily threatened gals.
Yes of course there are some incredibly inflated heads out there - and to those we say "Get over yourself!" But many pretty people are loving and kind too.
Some attractive women claim they don't seem to have a lot of true friends. This is often due to jealousy playing a strong role. That little green monster can take over and unfortunately some of us end up just not being able to cope with having attractive friends. It can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful for the "beauty", as she is actually often a very dependable, trustworthy and loyal friend.
If you have a beautiful best friend, hang in there and congratulations! Having a friend like this can be very challenging. Your friend is probably grateful to you for being there for her. She probably also knows in her heart that there have been some times where you wished you were not her friend.
If YOU are a beautiful woman, then lucky you! Be proud of who you are but don't let your looks go to your head. You are probably aware that sometimes your friends may feel threatened by your looks but remember this is NOT your fault. Together you and your friends should all make little adjustments to help each other feel more at ease. If your friends make you feel guilty for being beautiful, then you don't need friends like these. If they are real friends with good hearts, they will be proud of you!
Remember, beautiful people were brought in to the world in the same way as you and I. We cannot help what our physical attributes are, neither can they. The only thing we can ALL do is look after ourselves, be the best we can be and live a healthy lifestyle so that we may be all that we can on the inside and the outside. Try to remember Beauty is only skin deep, it's what we find underneath that really counts!
- Michelle Palmer